so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
