I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
