okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
