susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
