i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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