Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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