He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize