so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
