You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
