Farmville is her only friend.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
