How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
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