I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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