this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
