i think i have herpe
just one?
now i know why i became what i already was.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
