I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He had one of those small greek statue penises
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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