Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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