wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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