Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
