How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my phone needs a breathalizer
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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