Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
