You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
