I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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