Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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