He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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