I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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