we have pet lesbian snakes
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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