I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
