Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
