just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
