I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
