If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
