Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize