I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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