Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
