I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize