Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
