My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize