Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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