Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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