do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
