Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
