guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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