I can tuck mytits in my pants
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Randomize
