if you like me you must not know who I am
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize