I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
