well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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