At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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