why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
