you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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