for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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