The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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