I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize