Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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