you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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