The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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