the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize