I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
