But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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