Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
