I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
