i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Are we still banned from the library?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
