This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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