Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize