You smell like stripper and shame
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize